Before you start out with anything, I recommend you read these signs of a cheating spouse. Why? Because any lover/spouse who has been in a marriage or serious relationship will be able to catch them cheating simply by watching out for the obvious signs of a cheater. If not catch, it will greatly help you learn the truth on whether or not your spouse is cheating on you with another man or woman.
The first thing in a relationship that can go wrong and may lead you to believe your spouse is having infidelity/adultery problems is that there will be a void, or lack of quality time in your everyday life. You may notice you talk less, you go out together less, rarely or never do you get any intimate time with your spouse. By intimate time, this could mean you do not have those talks you used to have, or you feel that your spouse has no more desire or willingness to be with you physically. There is almost zero emotional support, and your spouse may have stopped complementing you for things you are proud of in your day to day lives.
A few more signs of a cheating spouse is when you realize that they are acting all cold and dead with you, but when a certain friend or co-worker is around, they are acting all excited, bubbly, feels like they are having fun or enjoying themselves more. A flirting husband or wife is something to watch out for, especially if your spouse flirts with the same person, and only with that person and less or not at all with anyone else. They may be having a secret affair or their "friend" relationship is developing into something else.
When regular everyday friendships develop into something more than "just friends" level, they are bound to have an affair. It's been happening ever since, and surveys and research shows that more than half of all emotional affairs develop even further to the point that they will, in time, have physical relationships.
To spot an emotional affair, you may notice that your spouse is talking to you about their problems less and less, and rarely "vents" anymore. They could be getting their emotional support from another close friend, and if that friend just so happens to be of the opposite sex, they may end up developing their relationship more to the point that your husband or wife will trust that person more than you. When that happens, you can be sure that physical cheating will soon follow.
Online affairs, where emotional affairs with strangers often happen, are the same basic thing as emotional affairs. It happens all the time, spouse feels left out, or starved of attention/emotional support, but also does not want to get involved with "real life" people so they resort to visiting chat rooms / message boards to get their need of emotional support. I'm not saying this is wrong, but when your spouse enters one of these chatrooms, and gets close enough to someone of the opposite sex, this could be dangerous to your relationship. Over a period of time their online friendship, which you could be absolutely have no knowledge of, move past the "friends" level and move on towards having an emotional affair. Sharing of intimate details, stuff that were meant for your ears only, will be told to this new person.
Meeting in real life will soon follow once attraction has built up between this new "friend" and your spouse. This is why it is very important to find these signs and catch your spouse before they cheat on you. A cheating spouse, when caught having secret emails and chats, will be more than likely to confess and ask forgiveness. Once they have started with the affair, and the other guy or girl your spouse is cheating on you with manages to convince her to leave you, it will be much harder as trust has been built between them, and taken away from you.
When or if you do decide to catch your cheating spouse, you will need to come to a very strict compromise on what to do with your relationship. Set solid boundaries when dealing with the opposite sex. There should be nothing but trust between both of you, and you should explain to your cheating spouse that you are willing to change, and she or he should too. There are no signs of a cheating husband or signs of a cheating wife greater than you FEELING something is wrong. Once you have confronted your cheating spouse, it is up to you to either work things out on your own, or see a marriage counselor.
To prevent affairs, you must be vigilant in watching signs of a cheating spouse. There is nothing you can do to change the fact that you were cheated on when it is already done and over. So if you found out too late, and she or he has already cheated on you with someone else, do not waste your precious time over it. Instead come to a decision.
You should give yourself two firm choices. Do I still love my cheating spouse? Or do I leave my spouse and let them suffer? Leaving them is the most you should do, do not ever try to hurt them back through physical means. If you want to hurt them, get a good divorce lawyer, sue your cheating spouse for as much as you can, then just plain ignore them. Do not get manipulated by their pleas, if you have made a decision to leave them, stick to it! If you want to fix or repair your broken marriage, then commit to that. There is no use changing your mind back and forth, as this will waste your time, and possibly your money.
Some signs of a cheating spouse you should watch out for are :
- They do not care about your relationship. Seemingly aloof, uncaring, cold, feels like he or she is in a bored mood everytime you are alone together.
- There is little to no emotional support between the two of you. You try to support your wife or husband, but it seems like they fall on deaf ears.
- You spouse is flirting with girls or guys, and when you confront them they ignore or shrug it off saying it was nothing. Flirting is a sign of attraction, and I'm sure you remember how your husband or wife flirted with you when you started dating.
- Getting touchy about conversations when it seems like you are steering it towards infidelity, adultery, or signs that he or she is cheating. They may be trying to avoid it, or are trying to change/derail your thoughts while they come up with an lie to something they could not explain.
- Cheating spouses will more often than not refuse to have intimate relations with their partners. A complete opposite is when out of nowhere, they want to try something vastly different in bed from what they used to, suddenly experimenting with sex.
- A cheating wife WILL shave her pubic hair. It's a well known fact, if your wife has not done this for a long time, then all of a sudden she starts going out with "friends" and then it just so happens by "coincidence" she starts shaving AND does not tell you until you find out on your own. This scenario could mean that she IS having an affair.
- A cheating husband will starts shaving his beard/body, start exercising, going to the gym, buying new perfumes etc. Anything to make him more appealing to the opposite sex. If this happens and he has no reason to give you, it is fair to assume that something is wrong.
- Some cheating husbands are caught by private investigators with the same sex. If your husband has a friend over, and seems to spend more and more time with this freind he may be cheating on you with another guy. Usually when guys hang out, it is 3 or more, and if not it won't usually last very long unless they are doing something such as fixing up a room/car/etc.
- You wife has been shopping for sexy lingerie, which you never see her wearing. It would be naive of you not to suspect anything. If you, her husband, never sees them, then who is?
- Cheating spouses often slip up after a while, when they get comfortable with the routine of cheating. Slip ups could be in form of leaving receipts of gifts for their new lovers, or bills from hotels/motels. Other examples would be finding freshly bought condoms/contraceptives even if you haven't had sex in quite a long time.
A good marriage or serious relationship is one where couples keep no secrets from each other. When you suspect that there are secrets or you notice any cheating signs, actively getting evidence may be an option. The methods on how to catch a cheating spouse will be posted soon, it will involve the use of keyloggers, cell phone spies, GPS tracking, and the services of a private investigator.