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i have a different situation, my husband doesn't go on business trips or go out with friends, no texting, emails. he has lost interest in our conversations sometimes cutting me off and ending thing abruptly but we do still have sex. He does complain about thing he says I always do. He’s had strange cell phone behavior lately, doesn’t answer his phone much in front of me and keeps it on silent. In November I started checking the phone log online and found he’d been calling a girl @ work who happens to be 17 yrs. old. I did confront him (which after reading the info on this site was a mistake) and he say she’s just a friend my husband 39. I myself am 47. as of January he is no longer employed there but the calls to her continue. I’ve asked him to stop calling her but he say I’m trying to stop him from talking to people and having friends. I’ve noticed he’s been shaving his body, buy a lot of new white t-shirts and listening to music he doesn’t usually listen
to. I know there is something wrong, I feel it in the pit of my stomach and I’m feeling trapped. We have 3 kids and I haven’t been able to find a job for 2 yrs. which I know financially has stressed our situation. If he hasn’t started cheating I feel he will soon. I feel like he’s looking for something. Please help. I feel like I’m drowning. There are day that I can’t function and can’t take care of my house or children. Please help me. I do love him very much and the thought of leaving him hurts so incredibly much but I don’t want to be made a fool of.
Thank you
I don't mean to be insincere and highlight your letter like an asignment, but the bolded parts are all signs of a cheating spouse. And the bolded part in color red, that is just not something he should do! He could end up in jail if he does anything with a minor!
If you already have all the evidence you need, decide what YOU want to do. Do you still wish to continue the relationship with your spouse? Or having a "cheating spouse" too much for you to take and you'd just like to divorce him and take the kids?
If you'd like to work things out and try to mend your relationship, then it's time to confront your spouse. Tell him what you know, and ask him why he keeps talking to some other girl, who is underaged, instead of you. For all you know, things could have already turned into an emotional affair because of the amount of time they talk to each other. Your spouse could be falling in love with this underaged girl, and then, like most emotional affairs, turn into a "hands on" physical affair. What will happen then if people found out? He'd go to jail because of that minor.
You should put your foot down and tell your spouse, whether or not he is cheating on you, that he needs to compromise. Ask him what's wrong and why he is acting that way and how you can change, and tell him how you want him to change. Since he is probably depressed because he has no job, he might try to blame things on you. Remember that even if your spouse cheats, there is always a reason. Sometimes not your fault, but it could also be. But if someone is really depressed, and they find something new that makes them happy (like his new friend) they may get tempted to do something they usually wouldn't do. You should remind him that you are his spouse, and you can talk about anything. And if you really are having troubles after talking about all your feelings, you can try marriage counseling.
On the other hand, if you want to END the relationship, don't confront him about it first unless you have all the evidence needed to divorce your cheating spouse. You should use cellphone spies and keyloggers to your advantage, as these are cheap little gadgets that you can install without them knowing it. If your spouse uses a car, you could also install a GPS tracking unit to monitor where he goes with your car.
Those are the things that I would do, and I really am sorry for the almost 1 month late reply, this is the only free time I have to give to this site. I wish you luck, and hope you and your spouse get to fix your relationship. Please let us know what you choose to do.
